< < Story continued from previous screen

IF THEY KNOW, THEY'RE PROBABLY AT AN ADVANTAGE...

Mel and Olga Glattstein tried for several years to conceive a child and looked into adoption when they were unsuccessful. In the mid-1980s, several private agencies wouldn't take the North Bergen, N.J., couple's application because of their age (late 30s).

A friend had adopted three South American children, and since Olga is Puerto Rican, the Glattsteins went through the Latin American Parents Association, which assists in adoption. Some of the South American adoption agencies also ruled them out because of their age so they found a private attorney in Colombia. They'd sought a female infant but a 2H-year-old-boy who'd been living in an orphanage became available.

From the time of their initial letter to the association, until they brought Eddie home, the process took two years, including a two-week trip to Colombia. After a couple of years, Eddie showed some difficulty when climbing stairs (he jumped up each stair on both feet) and he couldn't ride a bike. After a series of visits to specialists, they got a diagnosis: Duchenne muscular dystrophy.

That was the beginning of a new set of emotional and practical adjustments the Glattsteins have made in the 10 years since. They've handled the changes one at a time.

"It's so slowly progressive we do have time to make adjustments as time goes by, which is what we've been doing," Mel says of the disease.

"Just recently Eddie lost his ability to walk. He was walking slowly but he was still mobile right up until the beginning of this summer," his dad says. "So now that's another thing, he's permanently in a wheelchair. It's rough for him."

Mel doesn't know whether he'd have been willing to adopt a child he knew had a disability, though he thinks knowing might have helped him and Olga prepare.

"If the parents know the child is disabled, then they are probably more at an advantage than we were because we didn't know," he says. "If they know going in, they know exactly what they're going to have to deal with. So they make that decision."

But he acknowledges that it's almost impossible to be really prepared for having a child with a progressive, disabling disorder. "If you've never handled it before you might think you could handle it. Going through it is another story."

He and Olga have been helped by strong family support, both for their adoption of Eddie and for dealing with his DMD.

The Glattsteins' life is typically full, with trips to Disney World and lots of family fun. And 12-year-old Eddie has something else unexpected — a little brother. The Glattsteins' biological son, Jonathan, is 6.

I'D TAKE A HUNDRED ERICS...

DeAnn Glenn isn't sure she'll ever have a baby, but she was eager to be a mother so she became a foster parent. The first child placed with her by the state of Arkansas was Eric, a 7-year-old with a diagnosis of myotonic dystrophy (MMD).

Eric had other problems, too — lots of them. He'd been neglected, abused and kept out of school, and he hadn't learned the most basic skills. DeAnn went to work on his toilet training, showed him how to use cutlery, and taught him to recognize shapes, colors and numbers. His walking improved and so did his verbal skills.

The first task was "just building his trust. He just really started bonding with me," says DeAnn, who works at Wal-Mart's home office in Bentonville, Ark.

The feeling was mutual. Eric began calling her Mommy about a week after he arrived. After a few months, DeAnn decided to adopt Eric. "I loved him, and I didn't want to lose him. I knew that this child needed me, he loved me and he wanted me. If I chose not to do what I did, he would go to another adoptive home, but I just couldn't give him up."

Eric's birth parents made little effort to prove their fitness, and their parental rights were terminated. In August, DeAnn and her son legally became a family. Friends and family members have given her a series of showers, and she shows off her family photo album like any proud mom.

Eric, now 9, still has some catching up to do in school. His myotonic dystrophy primarily affects his facial muscles. Tight heel cords are being treated by physical therapy, though DeAnn anticipates surgery may be necessary. She's prepared for possible increases in his physical disability as well as heart or cataract problems that often occur with the disease.

As a first-time mom faced with a range of challenges, DeAnn has learned that all her child's problems can't be solved overnight. Now she's helping Eric build his self-esteem, which is often challenged when adults or children ridicule him for wearing glasses or being older than his peers in school.

But the difficulties are minor in DeAnn's mind. "He is the warmest little boy you've ever seen. Eric loves everybody. I would take 100 of him. He is the best kid."

She hopes to find a younger sister for Eric soon. If someday she marries and has a biological child, "I would consider that a bonus."